Brent P. Newhall's Blog
Self-improvement – Aug 2008

25 Aug 08 – I Turn My Back On a Job Offer

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So I did something that might appear crazy today. I turned down a nice job offer.

I got a phone call two weeks ago from a recruiter, who put me in touch with a local company who does ASP development. I had a phone interview with one of the founders, then went in for a face-to-face interview with the other founder and a few people there at the office.

I'm trying to keep these people as anonymous as possible. I don't want them to stumble across this and be offended, but I got a stern, stereotypically authoritarian vibe from several of the interviewers. I felt like....

...okay, an example from Christianity. Christ is described as being "full of grace and truth." That's an important duality: truth represents the classic, serious Old Testament God of firm adherence to an established structure, while grace represents flexible moderation. Both are important (though not always equally important).

I felt little grace there. Plenty of truth, but very little grace.

Now, they offered me a decent salary, and I could use the money right now. I don't know where I'll get enough money in a couple of months. And I'm willing to work in a less-than-stellar environment, if the people are good and the work's important.

But I couldn't shake this vibe. I was unsure about the people. This just didn't feel right.

Silly, right, to base one's job decision on a feeling? I don't think so. Feelings are facts; they're just as real as a thought.

So, this morning, I called them back and politely declined. I'll continue to pursue freelancing for a while. It's what feels right.

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11 Aug 08 – Freelancing Focus

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Freelancing has challenged me far more than anything else I've attempted in my life. I have to be disciplined, and focused, in new ways.

At work, there's always someone giving you work to do. And there's always work to do. Work is structured and busy. While that carries its own challenges, I've figured out the basics of office productivity (how to organize my work load, keep email under control, etc.).

At home...I can just walk outside. Nobody will stop me. That freedom pulls at me constantly, and resisting it requires more discipline than I'm used to.

Far more than I have at the moment, it looks like.

So, I'm learning to focus. To get started on productive, paying work as soon as I'm settled in the morning. To set an alarm when I'm doing things that can suck up too much time (checking Twitter and FriendFeed, for example). To be more conscious of my paying time.

So, I learn and grow.

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4 Aug 08 – Freelancing Ain't As Easy As I'd Hoped

I'm 5 months into freelancing. Hasn't gone as well as I'd hoped.

I'm currently making $0. I've made a fair bit from a good friend, for whom I developed his corporate website. I've also done a little tutoring.

But that's dried up. I advertise my web development tutoring, through CraigsList, but despite a few emails from interested locals, nobody's come through. I've submitted short stories to various magazines, but none have been accepted. Every freelancing site I find is flooded with ridiculously low bids on every project, and unrealistic projects. ("For $100 a week, you must write at least 15 articles a day.")

So, I'm looking for a temp job. Just some tech work to tide me over for a few months. Several recruiters are looking for me.

I am disappointed. This startup process takes way longer than I anticipated.

There are a few reasons. It took me a while to start advertising heavily, and submitting stories, and so forth. I spent a good 3 months mostly enjoying my freedom. I've buckled down now, but I suspect it's too late to turn the tide.

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